那座到不了的島
年輕的母親在荒郊野外奮力奔跑,寒冬中流了一身汗。一瞬間風颳起、浪來襲。母親在港邊低聲下氣,她好不容易有機會探望丈夫,她不願意就這樣回去,一而再、再而三的拜託船夫帶她到綠島。船夫說:「這陣無可能出海!趕緊返去!莫講玩笑!」
父親下船,他們笑得好開心。下一幕,從明亮港口變成夜晚昏暗室內,母親獨自為青春年華的無聲離去而悲泣。她懊悔年輕時沒有不顧一切地渡海,自責不夠努力去島上依偎父親,沒有用身體好好承接、將愛的結晶帶回來孕育。
年邁的母親開著電動代步車從屏東出發,駛於往台東方向的南迴公路上。她駛著汽車想靠近母親,將母親帶上車以免發生意外,卻怎樣都靠近不了。她前進的同時,母親也持續前進。公路上所有的車子都微妙地閃過母親,車燈雖閃著警示燈,卻毫無影響的快速向前行。
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她醒來、望向周遭,窗外路燈透進來的光讓她安心,確認剛才看見的都只是夢。她走到廚房、倒了杯水喝。她想起高中的時候,有次老師推薦她去參加綠島的夏令營,她回家跟母親說,母親呆愣了一會,接著異常冷漠地說:「去哪裡都行,不能去綠島,那裡沒什麼好看的。」她很生氣,一整個禮拜都跟母親賭氣。但最後還是說不過母親,只好把機會讓給別人。
想到這裡,她決定要趕緊帶母親去一趟綠島,在母親投胎之前。她把母親背在背包裡,搭上火車。當腳步即將踏上甲板的時候,她才想到忘記帶暈船藥了。
船啟航,每一次大浪來襲,她和其他遊客一起開心地大笑,他們就好像搭著海盜船,正帶領他們前往海上樂園。不久,海盜船上的愉悅笑聲漸淡,她感覺到喉嚨之間一股熱,趕緊拿起座位旁的塑膠袋握緊在手中。
她想起父親說過,他們都一直吐,不斷地吐。在陸地上出生的身體,用兩隻腳行走的日常,突然進入狂風暴雨的汪洋大海中。雙眼在黑暗中難以對焦,所有內部都被翻攪出來,直到身體成為空有回憶的空殼,直到忘記有朝一日能再回到陸地上行走。
The Unreachable Island
The young mother runs hard in the wilderness, sweating in the cold winter. In an instant, the wind blows and the waves come. Beside the port, the mother is repeatedly begging the boatman to ferry her to Green Island. She finally has the opportunity to visit her husband, and she refuses to return in vain. The boatman says, "It’s impossible to go to sea now! Go back soon! Do not make jokes!"
The father gets off the boat, and they laugh happily. The next scene shifts from the bright port to the dimly lit room at night, where the mother weeps alone for the silent departure of her youth. She regrets not desperately crossing the sea when she was young. She blames herself for not making it to the island to cuddle with the father, and not carrying the pledge of love with her body to bring back to nurture.
The elderly mother rides an electric scooter from Pingtung to Taitung on the South Link Highway. She drives a car, trying to get her mother in to avoid accidents, but she could not get close. As she drives forwards, her mother keeps on going as well. All the cars on the road subtly dodge her mother. Despite the flashing warning lights, they quickly move ahead without causing any trouble.
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She wakes up and looks around. The light from the street lamp outside the window reassures her, confirming that what she just saw was only a dream. She goes to the kitchen and pours a glass of water to drink. She recalls that her high school teacher once recommended her to attend a summer camp on Green Island. When she came home and told her mother, her mother was stunned for a while, then saying indifferently, "You could go anywhere but Green Island. There's nothing to see there." She was sulking with her mother all week, but still couldn't talk her into it, so she had to give up the opportunity to others at last.
Thinking of it, she decides to take her to Green Island as soon as possible, before her mother is reincarnated. She carries her mother in a backpack and takes the train. When she is about to step on the deck, she realizes that she forgets to bring seasickness pills.
The ship sets sail. Every time a big wave hits, she laughs happily with other tourists, as if they were riding a pirate ship leading them to the sea paradise. Soon, the joyful laughter on the pirate ship fades away. Feeling a heat in her throat, she instantly picks up the plastic bag next to the seat and holds it tightly in her hands.
She remembers her father saying that they all kept throwing up. A body was born on land, and used to walk on two feet. Suddenly, it enters the stormy ocean. Unable to focus in the darkness, everything inside is churned up and poured out. Until the body becomes an empty shell with no memories. Until the body forgets about walking on land again.
《後來的人寄出的風景》展出於2023年綠島人權藝術季《傾聽裂隙的迴聲》,共有五組風景明信片和故事。以下為故事連結——
"Sceneries Posted by Those Who Came Later" is exhibited at the 2023 Green Island Human Rights Arts Festival, "Listening to the Echoes of the Cracks". There are five groups of photos and stories. Below is the link to the story——
"Sceneries Posted by Those Who Came Later" is exhibited at the 2023 Green Island Human Rights Arts Festival, "Listening to the Echoes of the Cracks". There are five groups of photos and stories. Below is the link to the story——
〈那座到不了的島〉That Unreachable Island
〈背上有字的石頭〉A Rock with Lettering on Its Back
〈大浪襲來的五分鐘〉Five Minutes when the Big Waves Stroke
〈再蓋一棟新民宿〉Building Another New Guesthouse
〈照片裡看不見的虱目魚苗〉Unseen Milkfish Fry in the Photo